Manchester City is like watching boring maths

As I watched Manchester City play Wolves I was just disinterested, which is worse than bored. I know I’m not alone in this. The City crowd just murmured like it was an end-of-season dead rubber. Jamie Carragher even commented that it was ‘flat’ and at the time they were 1-0 up. There was absolutely no jeopardy, and without jeopardy, football is nothing to the neutral.

Obviously their fans will not care that neutrals are bored by them and they’ll predictably and happily tell you so, but the Premier League will. Try selling the best league in the world when its winners are boring and all of its teams in Europe are beaten by clubs that have markedly less money and resources. I mean Real Madrid are financially dominant but are engaging in a way City never are. It makes no sense but it is a strong feeling. Sorry about that. Maybe I’m full of sh*t, maybe I’m saying an awkward truth.

It’s best embodied by Erling Haaland who is as unexciting as getting a cheat code which leaves you feeling empty because you didn’t ‘earn’ the win. It’s extraordinary. Obviously he barely plays football, he’s just a function playing this successful redux of the game. I know he’s brilliant at what he does and wouldn’t want to be at all critical of how he plays. But it is like watching a dad dominating in a kids’ game.